What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
i believe in u and ur pee
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
