laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
All the doctor said was why
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
