is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
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