i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Randomize
