oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Randomize
