so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
