I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
