He is an equal opportunity slut.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize