Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
Life is so much better after having sex.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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