So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Randomize