you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
