She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
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