hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
cat food counts as protein by the way
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Randomize