somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
