I think i peed on brittanys purse
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
