Yo dont text me then not text me
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
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