This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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