only if we run a train.
done.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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