I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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