is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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