why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
