Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
