GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Randomize
