WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
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