One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
