Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
