"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
It's rum buckets o'clock
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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