the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
