hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Green mimosas i think yes
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Randomize
