He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
