Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Randomize
