it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I wear drunk well.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
