youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Randomize
