Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Randomize
