I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
