Don't you send me to vm
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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