So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
meet me or not, i'm out of control
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
