You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
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