well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
we're making bets on your personal life
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
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