Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
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