he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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