I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Randomize
