My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
So here I am, sexting at work.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
