Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
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