"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
