If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize