If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
