I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
just tell him i said nine months
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Randomize
