i just had sex bonerless
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
