It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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