Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
