At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I am midnight drunk by noon
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Are we still banned from the library?
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Randomize
