i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
