Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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