My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Randomize