Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Randomize
