Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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