yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Randomize
