So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Randomize
