Your dad touched me again.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
