Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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