just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Randomize
