Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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