Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
